I took my preteen daughter shopping for shorts yesterday and after visiting four different clothing stores I left with only two pairs of shorts! There were plenty of shorts to choose from at each of the stores I visited, but I am not interested in buying my 12 year old shorts that barely cover her rear end.
We found shorts called “shortie shorts”, “boyfriend shorts”, “super short”, “skinny shortie shorts” and the list goes on.
I have underwear that covers more than some of the shorts I saw in the stores!
Maybe I sound old fashioned to you, but as a Mom I am so appalled at what we as a society are doing to our daughters. I think we need a reality check. I think we need to take a step back from what Hollywood tells us is ok. We need to take a stand for our daughters and teach them what is good and pleasing in God’s eyes.
Do we want our daughters to grow up to be hoochie mamas?
Do we want them to expose their bodies in a dishonorable way?
Is there no sense of modesty that we want them to embrace?
Are we inadvertently teaching them that beauty comes from showing more and more skin?
Listen my friend, as a Christian Mom, we have a real struggle on our hands when it comes to our girls. They are bombarded with media showing them how to dress and because they see it on TV and in magazines, they think it is ok.
IT SHOULD NOT BE OK!
It is our responsibility to set a higher standard for our daughters.
It is our job to teach them how to be Godly.
It is our job to teach them and to demonstrate for them what real beauty looks like.
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised Proverbs 31:30
We need our girls to know what God says about how they display themselves and what message they send to others by how they dress.
Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 1 Timothy 2:9-10
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
When it comes to the clothes our daughters wear, we need to remember that God’s Word is clear about the sin of lust. Lust is a strong craving or desire. It is most commonly used in the context of a sexual nature. Lust occurs in the life of the mind and can lead to destructive behavior. Girls dressed in provocative clothes are at risk for leading young men to lust.
Think about it.
If a girl’s shirt exposes her cleavage, then what do you think a young man is thinking about when he talks to her? If her shorts barely cover her rear end, what is he focused on when he walks behind her? Is he thinking Godly, gentlemanly thoughts? Doubtful!
Do not underestimate the power of a man’s (or young man’s) testosterone.
We should desire that our girls NOT be a stumbling block to the young men they are friends with.
It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. Romans 14:21
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
As a Christian Mom, you and I need to take the higher road on how we parent. We need to think differently than the world. We need to be careful that we do not fall into Satan’s trap. He is crafty. He is the father of lies. He is full of trickery. He wants us to accept the things of the world and he wants us to conform to them.
Let us be wiser!
Look at what Paul tells us in the book of Colossians:
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5
Put it to DEATH!
I am responsible for what my daughter wears. She is 12. She does not have a job. She cannot drive herself to the store. She is not the authority.
It is my job to make sure she is dressing in a way that pleases God. Even when she complains, gets mad, or kicks and screams about it, it is my responsibility to stand firm on what I know is right. I am responsible for teaching her how to be a Godly young woman.
I was frustrated yesterday while I was shopping. I looked through tons of shorts in stores that I love to shop in. I only found two pairs in my daughter’s size that were decent for her to wear.
So what are you and I to do?
Well, I came home and went online to see what I could find. I was pleasantly surprised to find shorts online (from the same stores I shopped in) that were appropriate (mid-length and bermuda shorts). Even though it was not as convenient as finding them in the store, and I had to pay some shipping expenses, I could not buy those shortie shorts for my daughter.
I have regrets. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and I make a lot of mistakes as a Mom. There are days I wonder why God even entrusted me to be a Mom, but yesterday I felt good about the lesson I taught my daughter. We had a good conversation about our bodies and how God wants us to glorify Him with our bodies. We had a good conversation about boys and how their hormones are different than ours. We even talked (again) about God’s plan for sex and marriage and how our bodies are a gift we give to our husbands.
I encourage you my sister to stand firm in what you know is right for your daughter. Let the Bible be your guide. Do not fall into the trap of Satan.
We are not called to be conformed to this world. We are called to be transformed by the living God.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
For Moms of preteen and teen girls, here are a few things you and I can remember:
We are at war with the enemy over our daughters. Satan wants to steal, kill and destroy your daughter’s life. Fight for her! Show her God’s plan and stay true to what you know is right!
It’s been quite a while since I checked in with you! The Greene family has moved and it has been a whirlwind. If you have ever moved to a new state, you know what I am talking about. Even if you have just moved down the street, you know how it feels to be displaced for a while.
When you move to a new place, everything is new. You have to settle in to a new community. You meet new friends and neighbors. You begin a new chapter of your life. There is a sense of adventure to moving, but there are also some pitfalls you can experience. If you’re not careful, you can focus too much on the life you left behind.
I have been thinking a lot lately about how easy it is for us to live our lives looking back. I wrote the below Joytime segment a few weeks ago when we were taking a bike ride. Take a listen:
STOP LOOKING BACK! Isn’t that just like us, though? We have a tendency to keep our eyes and minds focused on what happened in our past instead of focusing on the life we are living right now.
Sometimes our past hold painful memories and we cannot forgive someone for what they did to us long ago. Other times, we cannot forgive ourselves. Sometimes our lives were so much better in the past than they are right now that it causes us to wish we could go back. For whatever reason, we can get stuck.
Sometimes we cannot get over it and we miss what God has for us right now!
In the book of Philippians, we learn that the Christians are being exposed to false teachings and Paul reminds them about what it means to live for Christ. Paul writes:
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14
Paul encourages the Philippians to keep straining ahead towards righteousness. He reminds them that there is a heavenly prize he is aiming for and that prize is absolutely worth pursuing.
You and I are here to fulfill our God-given calling. He never promised us easy!
It is through the circumstances of your life that God is making you more like Himself!
My friend, you and I are not on a quest to be more comfortable or more content here on Earth. We are on a quest for Christ!
So, stop looking back!
Press on with your eyes ahead! God is not finished with you yet!!
So glad you stopped by today!
In the summer of 2011, Bryan and I sold our dream house in NC and moved 600 miles to Jackson, TN. God had called us to a new place and out of obedience to Him, we packed up and moved. In March of 2012, my new friend Marcie called me telling me that her Daddy (Tom Mapes), who was a radio talk show host, needed a guest for his radio show the next morning. His scheduled guest had the flu. Marcie suggested to her Dad that I fill in as his guest. She knew about my and Bryan’s move to Jackson, TN and she thought listeners would be encouraged by hearing our story. Although I had never been on the radio before, I agreed to be on Tom’s show. I shuffled some responsibilities around at work and showed up at the radio station with my Bible in hand. I was ready to share my “God story.”
After the show, I needed to get back to Union University to teach my class so I quickly left and returned to work. By the time my class was over, Tom had left me two voice mails asking me to call him. When he and I talked, he asked me if I would be interested in doing a daily radio segment aimed at encouraging the women in West Tennessee. He told me I had a great voice for radio. I was shocked! Me? Radio? Seriously? The longer we talked the more excited I became. He said we could find a sponsor, and I could record the daily segments ahead of time, as my schedule allowed. He asked me to pray about it. So I did. As I prayed, I felt God urging me to pursue this path. But how? I did not know a thing about radio, or having a formalized ministry. It scared me, but inside my spirit, God was whispering that this was His plan, so….I took steps of faith to begin this radio ministry.
I begin talking with some folks about this idea and wouldn’t you know it? God had already been working behind the scenes. We had just bought a house the month before and my new neighbor just “happened” to own his own web-hosting company. He told me he would host my website for me, for free. A young lady in my Sunday school class just “happened” to be a graphic artist. She told me she would design my logo for me, for free. A friend at Union also just “happened” to do photography on the side. He told me he would take photos for my website, for free.
After much prayer, I finally settled on the name, Joytime Ministries and Tom and I approached Jon Ewing of The Woman’s Clinic of Jackson about sponsorship. Jon heard the demo of Joytime and said it was just what he was looking for regarding sponsorship! Ever since that day, The Woman’s Clinic has been the sponsor of Joytime.
Along with airing Joytime daily segments, The Dove also implemented a morning show with Tom called, “Morning Praise with Tom Mapes and the Sisters of Grace.” From 9-11 a.m. Monday-Friday, Tom and a female co-host would play Christian music and encourage listeners through Bible teaching and personal testimonies. I have been privileged to be the Friday Sister of Grace for over two years. Each Friday, with my Bible and sweet tea in hand, Tom and I go on the air to share with our listeners. We have had shows where we laughed until our stomachs ached. We have also had shows where we cried so much that we needed to replace the tissue box. Week after week, we have left the studio feeling encouraged as we sought to glorify God through radio.
Today was my last radio show with Tom. My days as a Sister of Grace have come to an end. As I close this chapter in my life, and my family moves to NC this summer, I am forever grateful for Tom Mapes and Grace Broadcasting. From time to time, God sends special people into your life to sharpen you and make you better. Tom is one of those people in my life. He has been a cheerleader for Joytime Ministries from the beginning. He has been a mentor and friend. Thank you Tom and the great folks at Grace Broadcasting for believing in me! What an amazing journey it has been!