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Relationships

Snooty!

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car seat

The definition of snooty is “showing disapproval or contempt toward others, esp. those considered to belong to a lower social class”

 

As I write this post, God’s Spirit is speaking to me about how we, as Christians, treat other people.  He is reminding me that although we proclaim Jesus as Lord of our lives, many times, our actions do not match up with the words that come out of our mouths.  We sing about love and kindness, yet we often do not live it out.  Many times, as Christians—we are snooty!

Do you remember the “Brownies”?   Brownies was a branch of the Girls Scouts for girls ages 7-10 years old.  I was a Brownie for a couple of years, and one afternoon, there was a field trip our group was taking into town after school.  My Mom drove a big blue car.  This car had a long front seat where three or four people could sit.  Do you remember those type of seats?  That day, my Mom was taking me, my popular friend (who I will call Sarah), and another not-so-popular girl (that I will call Holly).  Holly was overweight, she wore glasses and she did not “fit in” with the rest of us.  She was different, and honestly, I was not interested in being her friend.  Mom was responsible for taking Sarah, Holly and me into town to meet up with the rest of our group for the field trip.  When Mom arrived at our school, my popular friend, Sarah, and I jumped into the front seat of my Mom’s big car and Holly was forced to ride in the back all by herself.  The whole way into town, Sarah and I laughed and talked, having the best of times. I never even thought about Holly in the back seat, alone.  Sarah and I were snooty.  We were “too good” to sit with Holly in the back seat, and we did not include Holly in our conversation because she was not in our circle of friends.  She was not popular and because she was shy, Holly never said a word the entire trip.  My Mom dropped us off at our field trip destination and when our field trip was over, another parent gave me a ride home.   I will never forget it!  It was dark by the time I walked down the sidewalk at my house, and as I opened the back door, my Mom was sitting in my Dad’s green leather chair, waiting on me.  I knew when I saw the look on her face, that I was in BIG trouble.  She began to talk with me about how disappointed she was in my behavior.  I did not even know what she was talking about!  She told me how Holly was sitting in the back of that car with tears rolling down her face because of the way Sarah and I were ignoring her.   Oh, my Mom was as disappointed in me as I had ever seen her!  She meant business and she gave me a spanking that I have never forgotten.  When I look back at that time in my life I am so thankful that my Mom did not put up with me mistreating another child.  I needed that spanking and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me!  You see, my Mom was teaching me that nobody deserves to be ignored.   She was teaching me the importance of caring about people.  She was teaching me the importance of including others and befriending them.  But you know what?  As much as I learned from that experience, time and time again, I still fail in this area.  I find myself doing the same thing as I did when I was a Brownie.  I judge others by their outward appearance or social status.  I find myself shying away from people who I consider “awkward”, and God is convicting my heart about this sin in my life.

What about you?   Is there someone in your life that you are ignoring because they are different than you?   Maybe they dress differently, talk differently, or are somewhat socially awkward.  Regardless of what makes them different from you, you and I should show kindness and love by purposefully reaching out to them.  And don’t forget about our kids!  Are we teaching them the importance of including others?  Are we serious about instructing them on how to treat other kids the way Jesus taught us to?  Do they know the importance of treating others well and caring about their feelings?

Remember, one way people know we are Christians is by the way we love others.  Ask God to show you where you fail in this area.  Listen as His Spirit guides you and then obey Him by reaching out to those people who are different than you.  Don’t ignore them or be snooty to them!  Love them!  Care about them!  You have more in common with them than you think!

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

~John 13:34-35

~Joy

Doing the Right Thing….Wholeheartedly!

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“Amaziah was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem twenty-nine years. His mother’s name was Jehoaddan; she was from Jerusalem. He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, but not wholeheartedly.”  ~2 Chronicles 25:1-2

Amaziah did some really good things as king of Judah.  There are written accounts of his obedience to God; acts that pleased God.  Unfortunately, there are also written accounts of his disobedience to God, and Amaziah paid the price for his sin.  As Christians, there are times when we are eager to obey God.  Times when our hearts are turned towards Him.  There are also times when we slip away from God.  During those times, we may still be “doing” good things for the kingdom, but our hearts are far from Him.   We know the right thing to do, outwardly, but make no mistake about it….God knows the condition of our hearts.  He knows our real motive.  He has told us over and over again, in His Word, that He is looking at our hearts.  He does not look at the things man looks at, He judges the hearts of His people.  Lately, I have been thinking about how good we are at “behavior modification”.  We know how to behave, and if we’re honest, we sometimes fake it with other people.  We know what a Christian is supposed to look like, talk like, dress like, act like, but God looks deeper within us.  When I take a close look at my heart, I am not pleased with some things that live in there.  What about you?

Today, let’s take a good, hard look at the condition of our hearts and ask Jesus to reveal the sin that lives there.   Let us be people of confession, repentance and rededication.  Let’s join together, my friend, and ask God to cleanse our hearts and help us please Him with our lives wholeheartedly.  Let us NOT be people who just do the right thing because our heads know what we should do.  Let us be people who do the right thing because our hearts are fully committed to Him.

Grateful for you!

~Joy

Guard Your Heart!

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Today, my sweet Sunday School class had a precious time of study together in God’s Word and our topic was on betrayal. I want to share with you some points I took away from my time today at church. It centered on taming the tongue (James chapter 3) and the importance of guarding the heart. I hope this brings you some encouragement as I feel sure you can relate to this topic.

The heart is the center of a person. The innermost part of who you and I are. We know from God’s Word that God looks at the heart. We read over and over again the importance of turning our hearts towards God and keeping Him at the center of all we are. He judges the heart and He seeks out the hearts of people to be used for His glory.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”.

Now this one is a tough one for me. You see, I desire REAL relationship with people. I am not someone who can fake it. I despise playing the political game of “pretending” in order to climb the social status ladder. I am who I am and boy, do I have flaws. I am an extroverted person who desires friendship, but I desire real friendship. You know, the kind of friendship that can endure the hard aches of life.  I love people and I desire genuine relationships with those around me. One way we become closer to the people in our lives is by sharing our hearts with them. We put our guard down and we allow ourselves to become vulnerable with others. We tell them our innermost thoughts and secrets. We share private things with them and open up our lives like a book for them to read. I have found that this is how you become closer friends with another person. The truth is…this is risky. Sometimes this process backfires. I know you can relate when I tell you that not everyone is to be trusted. Just like me, you have had people betray you. You have probably had people in your life turn their backs on you. You have had people lie TO you and ABOUT you. You have entrusted private information with someone and they did not keep it private. People will disappoint you. But, you know what? I have been that person too. I have been the betrayer. I have broken another person’s trust and violated a friendship by not being true to them. I have lied and stretched the truth in order to make myself look better. I have harbored jealousy in my heart and I have made other people feel inferior. I have also betrayed God. I have had times where I walked away from Him through disobedience. There are times I have been lazy in reading His Word and I have forgotten to thank Him when He blessed me with undeserved blessings.  And…I was wrong!  What about you? Can you see yourself in any of these things?

Today, I am reminded that the heart is a precious thing and it should not be entrusted to just anyone.  We should guard our hearts! Our hearts belong to Christ and in keeping with His Word; we should seek to obey Him in all things. Our hearts must be centered on Him and His Word should be written on our hearts. Remember, my friend, that He is your safe place. He is who you should cry out to first! He is who you can trust with everything. When you have exciting news—-first, thank Him and glorify Him with praise. When you feel beaten down—-find a quiet place where you can cry out to Him and seek His face. When you are confused about a decision you need to make—grab your Bible and LISTEN for Him to guide you. When you are frustrated with another person—talk to God about it instead of calling up another friend in order to “vent”. Remember, our closest friend should be God. We should turn to Him first! He will never disappoint you, He has all the answers you need, and He is trustworthy.

Yes, guard your heart, my friend. Keep it HIS and allow Him to have His way in your life!    Glad you stopped by! ~Joy

I would love to hear your thoughts about this.  I encourage you to leave comments!

I Choose You!

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i chose you

When I was in elementary school, we used to pick teams at recess.  The teacher would line us up, pick 2 captains and allow them to pick who they wanted to be on their team.   During this process there was always one child left at the very end…the one that no one chose to be on their team.  Belonging.  It’s a need we all have deep inside.  We want to belong.  When my kids were little, I read a parenting book once that gave me some of the best parenting advice I have ever found.  Tell your kids you choose them.  Tell them they belong.  The author gave some examples on how to accomplish this, and I began using one of those examples.  Ellie is 10 and so I periodically say to her, “Ellie, if God lined up all the ten year old girls in the world and told me I could pick just one, do you know who I would pick”?  She usually smiles a silly smile and then I say, “I would pick you every time”.  Now, listen, I by no means am in the running for mother of the year, but this little tip has really encouraged my kids and brought us closer together, because they know that Bryan and I choose them.   We want them and isn’t that something we can all relate to?  In the gospel of John 15 we read these words from Jesus, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit–fruit that will last”.  What comfort it is to know that we are wanted by our Lord and Savior.  He created us, He loves us, He chose us.   Thanks for reading today!  ~Joy

Feeling Inadequate?

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inadequate

Do you have seasons of life where you feel inadequate?  I imagine you know what I’m talking about.  Seasons of life where your calendar is so full that you don’t feel like you are good at anything!  I certainly go through seasons of inadequacy and when those times come, I feel down.  My mind begins to fill with ungodly thoughts and I can even feel a little depressed.  Maybe you can relate.  Listen my friend, the enemy wants to remind you of who you are not.  He desires to steal your joy by reminding you of all of your faults, imperfections and failures.  I want to share with you a verse that brings me comfort when I feel inadequate.  You can find it in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me”.  I want to remind you today of who you are in Christ!  If He is your Lord and Savior then you have the power of the living God inside of you!  He tells us in His Word that through our weaknesses, His power is made perfect.  He tells us that He is enough!  You and I are human.  We have faults, imperfections and failures, but we know the God of the Universe and we know that He is mighty and strong.  So, when you feel inadequate—you just remind the enemy who you serve. You remind the enemy who lives in you.  I encourage you to fill your mind up with truth and stand on His Word.  Remember:  In your weakness—He is strong!  Thanks for reading today!  ~Joy

Hold your children a little tighter…

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sandy hook

Hold your children a little tighter.  I heard this statement over and over again with the recent tragedy in Connecticut, and boy did I hold them a little tighter!  As soon as I learned about the shooting, I wanted to race over to my kid’s school, take them home, lock all of the doors and stay inside to ensure they were safe.  If you’re a parent, maybe you felt this same way.  Of course, I didn’t do those things.  Instead, I picked them up from school at the normal time and we stayed home that evening.  We watched a movie and snuggled on the couch, all the while, I was thanking God for them and praying for those families in Connecticut who had lost their children.  I thought about the evil in our world.  Evil actions can strike at anytime, anywhere.  In earthly terms, none of us are safe.  It could happen at the mall, where we work, at our homes, churches, anywhere.  Instead of living our lives in fear, God tells us to be strong and courageous.  He tells us to overcome evil with good.  Our God is sovereign and He never loses control, even in the worst of human circumstances.  With human minds, we can’t make sense of tragedies like the one in Connecticut.   It’s hard to understand how any good could come from such a devastating event, but, as followers of Christ, we believe God is who He says He is.  He is holy, and good.  We trust Him at His word that He is working all things together for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose.  I find comfort from Proverbs 3:5 which says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”.  Today, let’s say an extra prayer for the families who lost their loved ones in Connecticut.  Let’s pray for God’s peace.  Let’s pray that those families will draw closer to God through this time.  Let’s pray that His name be glorified.  None of us are promised tomorrow…so live the best life you can today and hold your children a little tighter.   Thanks for reading!  ~Joy

Two Powerful Words

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I’ve heard it said that the most important words one person can say to another are the words, “I’m sorry”.  Would you agree?  I think those two words can be the hardest two words to say, but when they are said with honest meaning, they are powerful.  The words, “I’m sorry” can mend a broken relationship, but actually saying those two words require us to swallow our pride and be humble.  It requires admitting we were wrong about something and it makes us venerable to the other person.  For most of us, it’s not a pleasant feeling, but I think as Christians, it’s a requirement in order for us to live in healthy relationship with other believers.  Jesus talks a lot about relationships.  He makes it clear that believers should get along!  It’s in Matthew Chapter 5 when Jesus says, “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”  The Greek word for “reconciled” means to change one’s feelings towards another, to restore.  I wonder if you have a relationship in your life that needs to be restored?  Is there someone who you are at odds with?  We should strive to live at peace with everyone, but it is most important that believer in Christ live at peace with one another.  We can’t change someone else’s behavior and we certainly don’t have the power to change their heart, but we should do all that is within our power to make things right with our brothers and sisters in Christ.  I like how John MacArthur says True worship is not enhanced by better music, better prayers, better architecture, or even better preaching. True worship is enhanced by better relationships between those who come to worship.  Is there some relationship that needs mending in your life?  Is there someone you need to say “I’m sorry” to?  Don’t waste another minute, do it today.   Thanks for reading!  ~Joy

On the corner of a roof…

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Do you happen to know what Proverbs 25:24 says?  Well, it’s a bit convicting for us wives, but I think it’s a good reminder for us today—so here it goes, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. OUCH!  Are you a quarrelsome wife?  Another translation says a contentious wife…  The Hebrew word means strife—argumentative….It causes me to ask myself…am I a nagging wife—are you?  Ok, I don’t like this question either, but if I’m honest about it, there are times when I nag my husband about what he didn’t do that day, or something he did do that frustrated me.  Can you relate?  By nature, it seems we focus on what’s wrong with someone, instead of what’s right with them.  And let’s face it, our lives are hectic and when we get frustrated about things we take it out on the ones we love the most.  Sometimes our husbands get the brunt of our bad mood.  This verse certainly convicts me as a wife and the Lord has a thing to say to me and you about being a Godly wife.  We are called to love, not nag.  We are called to forgive and not hold grudges; we are called to speak words that bring life, not words that tear down.  Let’s take this verse in Proverbs to heart and ask God to help us be the women of virtue we are called to be.    Thanks for reading today!

-Joy

The Last Brownie

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No one has to teach us how to be self-centered, we are born that way.  If you have been around children, you know what it’s like to witness selfishness first hand.  Children argue over books and toys. They say things like “Me first, I want that, give it to me”.  When there’s only 1 brownie left, they want the biggest half.  You know, I’ve also seen selfishness in adults too—especially in myself.  There are times when I can be just as selfish as a small child.  I rush into a restaurant so I can get in line first, I want the closest parking space, the shortest line at the grocery store and I don’t just want the biggest half of the last brownie—I want the whole thing!  Can you relate?  Listen to this verse found in the book of Philippians, “With humility of mind, let each of you regard one another as more important than himself”  Would you agree that most of us do not live this way?  It’s a struggle for us to regard other people as more important.  It seems as if we are wired to look out for our own personal interests instead of the interests of others.”  As if our time is more valuable than someone else’s time.  But, as followers of Christ, our lives should speak self-less-ness.   This verse in Philippians tells us to have humility of mind.  This means that within the private life of our thoughts, we should think of others above ourselves. Reminding ourselves of who are called to be in Christ—humble.  This will change our lives for the better.  It will create in us a selfless spirit and it will please God.  Maybe you too struggle with being selfish.  I encourage you to ask God to give you a spirit of self-LESS-ness.  Ask Him to help you be live out this verse.  And the next time there’s only one brownie left, put someone else above yourself and take the smallest half.