Do we want our daughters to grow up to be Hoochie Mamas?

Posted by on Aug 10, 2014 in Blog, Family, Growing Closer to God, Lessons Learned, Relationships | 4 comments

shortie short

 

I took my preteen daughter shopping for shorts yesterday and after visiting four different clothing stores I left with only two pairs of shorts!  There were plenty of shorts to choose from at each of the stores I visited, but I am not interested in buying my 12 year old shorts that barely cover her rear end.

We found shorts  called “shortie shorts”, “boyfriend shorts”, “super short”, “skinny shortie shorts” and the list goes on.

I have underwear that covers more than some of the shorts I saw in the stores!

Maybe I sound old fashioned to you, but as a Mom I am so appalled at what we as a society are doing to our daughters.  I think we need a reality check.  I think we need to take a step back from what Hollywood tells us is ok.  We need to take a stand for our daughters and teach them what is good and pleasing in God’s eyes.

Do we want our daughters to grow up to be hoochie mamas?

Do we want them to expose their bodies in a dishonorable way?

Is there no sense of modesty that we want them to embrace?

Are we inadvertently teaching them that beauty comes from showing more and more skin?

Listen my friend, as a Christian Mom, we have a real struggle on our hands when it comes to our girls.  They are bombarded with media showing them how to dress and because they see it on TV and in magazines, they think it is ok.

IT SHOULD NOT BE OK!

It is our responsibility to set a higher standard for our daughters.

It is our job to teach them how to be Godly.

It is our job to teach them and to demonstrate for them what real beauty looks like.

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.  1 Peter 3:3-4

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised Proverbs 31:30

We need our girls to know what God says about how they display themselves and what message they send to others by how they dress.

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 1 Timothy 2:9-10

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.  1 Corinthians 6:19-20

When it comes to the clothes our daughters wear, we need to remember that God’s Word is clear about the sin of lust.  Lust is a strong craving or desire.  It is most commonly used in the context of a sexual nature.  Lust occurs in the life of the mind and can lead to destructive behavior.  Girls dressed in provocative clothes are at risk for leading young men to lust.

Think about it.

If a girl’s shirt exposes her cleavage, then what do you think a young man is thinking about when he talks to her?  If her shorts barely cover her rear end, what is he focused on when he walks behind her?  Is he thinking Godly, gentlemanly thoughts?  Doubtful!

Do not underestimate the power of a man’s (or young man’s) testosterone.

We should desire that our girls NOT be a stumbling block to the young men they are friends with.

It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.  Romans 14:21

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  Matthew 5:28

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.  1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

As a Christian Mom, you and I need to take the higher road on how we parent.  We need to think differently than the world.  We need to be careful that we do not fall into Satan’s trap.  He is crafty.  He is the father of lies.  He is full of trickery.  He wants us to accept the things of the world and he wants us to conform to them.

Let us be wiser!

Look at what Paul tells us in the book of Colossians:

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.  Colossians 3:5

Put it to DEATH!

I am responsible for what my daughter wears.  She is 12.  She does not have a job.  She cannot drive herself to the store.  She is not the authority.

It is my job to make sure she is dressing in a way that pleases God.  Even when she complains, gets mad, or kicks and screams about it, it is my responsibility to stand firm on what I know is right.  I am responsible for teaching her how to be a Godly young woman.

I was frustrated yesterday while I was shopping.  I looked through tons of shorts in stores that I love to shop in.  I only found two pairs in my daughter’s size that were decent for her to wear.

So what are you and I to do?

Well, I came home and went online to see what I could find.   I was pleasantly surprised to find shorts online (from the same stores I shopped in) that were appropriate (mid-length and bermuda shorts). Even though it was not as convenient as finding them in the store, and I had to pay some shipping expenses,  I could not buy those shortie shorts for my daughter.

I have regrets.  I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and I make a lot of mistakes as a Mom.  There are days I wonder why God even entrusted me to be a Mom, but yesterday I felt good about the lesson I taught my daughter.  We had a good conversation about our bodies and how God wants us to glorify Him with our bodies.  We had a good conversation about boys and how their hormones are different than ours.  We even talked (again) about God’s plan for sex and marriage and how our bodies are a gift we give to our husbands.

I encourage you my sister to stand firm in what you know is right for your daughter.  Let the Bible be your guide.  Do not fall into the trap of Satan.

We are not called to be conformed to this world.  We are called to be transformed by the living God.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

For Moms of preteen and teen girls, here are a few things you and I can remember:

  • Try to see your daughter as God sees her.
  • Show her how to be pure.
  • Teach her God’s Word.
  • Tackle the tough topics (like boys and sex) and don’t shy away from things that you may think are embarrassing.
  • Let her know how much you love her.
  • Let her know you are FOR her!
  • Remind her of how much God loves her.
  • Go to great lengths to help her be a virtuous young woman.

We are at war with the enemy over our daughters.  Satan wants to steal, kill and destroy your daughter’s life.  Fight for her!  Show her God’s plan and stay true to what you know is right!

Much love,

~Joy

4 Comments

  1. You should check our “True Beauty” by Carolyn Mahaney.

  2. Joy, thanks for sharing your struggles. I too, have a daughter. She is 15 and we go through the same struggle daily it seems.

  3. Joy, Thank you for such a powerful post and for reminding your readers of all of these scriptures which back this up.

  4. I recently had almost the exact same experience. I am so appalled at what is available in mainstream department stores. This post is thought provoking and encouraging. As mothers, if we know that other parents are refusing to give in and buy these clothes, then we can be encouraged and strengthened. This can encourage our daughters too. We do have to fight and we have to prepare our daughters to take a stand when they will so obviously be the minority. There is so much at stake with the simple decision over what kind of clothes to buy. I do think we have to start protecting their modesty when they are young. The allowance of short shorts when they are 12, will lead to “dating” at an early age and the focus on looking good for guys. All that will continue to progress in an unhealthy direction. Thank you for boldly sharing what so badly needs to be addressed!

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