Family

I took my preteen daughter shopping for shorts yesterday and after visiting four different clothing stores I left with only two pairs of shorts!  There were plenty of shorts to choose from at each of the stores I visited, but I am not interested in buying my 12 year old shorts that barely cover her rear end.

We found shorts  called “shortie shorts”, “boyfriend shorts”, “super short”, “skinny shortie shorts” and the list goes on.

I have underwear that covers more than some of the shorts I saw in the stores!

Maybe I sound old fashioned to you, but as a Mom I am so appalled at what we as a society are doing to our daughters.  I think we need a reality check.  I think we need to take a step back from what Hollywood tells us is ok.  We need to take a stand for our daughters and teach them what is good and pleasing in God’s eyes.

Do we want our daughters to grow up to be hoochie mamas?

Do we want them to expose their bodies in a dishonorable way?

Is there no sense of modesty that we want them to embrace?

Are we inadvertently teaching them that beauty comes from showing more and more skin?

Listen my friend, as a Christian Mom, we have a real struggle on our hands when it comes to our girls.  They are bombarded with media showing them how to dress and because they see it on TV and in magazines, they think it is ok.

IT SHOULD NOT BE OK!

It is our responsibility to set a higher standard for our daughters.

It is our job to teach them how to be Godly.

It is our job to teach them and to demonstrate for them what real beauty looks like.

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.  1 Peter 3:3-4

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised Proverbs 31:30

We need our girls to know what God says about how they display themselves and what message they send to others by how they dress.

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 1 Timothy 2:9-10

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.  1 Corinthians 6:19-20

When it comes to the clothes our daughters wear, we need to remember that God’s Word is clear about the sin of lust.  Lust is a strong craving or desire.  It is most commonly used in the context of a sexual nature.  Lust occurs in the life of the mind and can lead to destructive behavior.  Girls dressed in provocative clothes are at risk for leading young men to lust.

Think about it.

If a girl’s shirt exposes her cleavage, then what do you think a young man is thinking about when he talks to her?  If her shorts barely cover her rear end, what is he focused on when he walks behind her?  Is he thinking Godly, gentlemanly thoughts?  Doubtful!

Do not underestimate the power of a man’s (or young man’s) testosterone.

We should desire that our girls NOT be a stumbling block to the young men they are friends with.

It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.  Romans 14:21

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  Matthew 5:28

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.  1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

As a Christian Mom, you and I need to take the higher road on how we parent.  We need to think differently than the world.  We need to be careful that we do not fall into Satan’s trap.  He is crafty.  He is the father of lies.  He is full of trickery.  He wants us to accept the things of the world and he wants us to conform to them.

Let us be wiser!

Look at what Paul tells us in the book of Colossians:

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.  Colossians 3:5

Put it to DEATH!

I am responsible for what my daughter wears.  She is 12.  She does not have a job.  She cannot drive herself to the store.  She is not the authority.

It is my job to make sure she is dressing in a way that pleases God.  Even when she complains, gets mad, or kicks and screams about it, it is my responsibility to stand firm on what I know is right.  I am responsible for teaching her how to be a Godly young woman.

I was frustrated yesterday while I was shopping.  I looked through tons of shorts in stores that I love to shop in.  I only found two pairs in my daughter’s size that were decent for her to wear.

So what are you and I to do?

Well, I came home and went online to see what I could find.   I was pleasantly surprised to find shorts online (from the same stores I shopped in) that were appropriate (mid-length and bermuda shorts). Even though it was not as convenient as finding them in the store, and I had to pay some shipping expenses,  I could not buy those shortie shorts for my daughter.

I have regrets.  I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and I make a lot of mistakes as a Mom.  There are days I wonder why God even entrusted me to be a Mom, but yesterday I felt good about the lesson I taught my daughter.  We had a good conversation about our bodies and how God wants us to glorify Him with our bodies.  We had a good conversation about boys and how their hormones are different than ours.  We even talked (again) about God’s plan for sex and marriage and how our bodies are a gift we give to our husbands.

I encourage you my sister to stand firm in what you know is right for your daughter.  Let the Bible be your guide.  Do not fall into the trap of Satan.

We are not called to be conformed to this world.  We are called to be transformed by the living God.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

For Moms of preteen and teen girls, here are a few things you and I can remember:

• Try to see your daughter as God sees her.
• Show her how to be pure.
• Teach her God’s Word.
• Tackle the tough topics (like boys and sex) and don’t shy away from things that you may think are embarrassing.
• Let her know how much you love her.
• Let her know you are FOR her!
• Remind her of how much God loves her.
• Go to great lengths to help her be a virtuous young woman.

We are at war with the enemy over our daughters.  Satan wants to steal, kill and destroy your daughter’s life.  Fight for her!  Show her God’s plan and stay true to what you know is right!

Much love,

~Joy

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

~1 Thessalonians 5:18

Ok all the Moms out there…what is the deal with dirty socks?  Do your kids do this too?  I find dirty socks everywhere!  They frequently lay on my living room floor, on our back deck and in my kids’ bathroom, but the other day I found them on top of the kitchen counter—seriously???  How does that happen?

What makes a person think, “Oh—I think I will take off the socks I’ve been wearing all day and put them over here next to the toaster!”

Sometimes you and I get overwhelmed with all we need to do.  The daily tasks before us make us feel covered up and it seems there is no getting caught up!  If you are a wife or Mom, I want you to feel encouraged today about your role in the family.

God has been reminding me that I need to have a heart of gratefulness in all things.  When I begin to complain about all the things I need to do at home, He gently whispers into my spirit for me to turn my thoughts towards thankfulness for the responsibilities I have at home.  God reminds me of the blessings they are in my life and to also remember they are kids….they are going to do things I do not want them to do.

He also reminds me to have patience with them as Bryan and I seek to teach them how to be responsible adults.

If you are tired today and there is too much work you need to do, instead of being frustrated, stop and thank God for the blessings in your life.  Count your blessings one by one and imagine how sad you would be without those blessings in your life.

Do not allow the enemy to steal your joy as a wife and Mom.  Fill up with God’s Word and ask Him to pour out over you a spirit of thankfulness!

A heart of gratefulness is just what you and I need.

Thanks for stopping by today!

-Joy

When I was a little girl, I was…well….let’s just say that I was not the most organized child on the planet. Now this picture is not an actual photo of my bedroom as a child, but I can remember days when it looked similar to this!  I did not keep my room as nice and neat as my Mom preferred, but I did have a cleaning method that I used when I needed to clean my room in a hurry— “stuff and fluff.”  Yes, I was really good at it too!  I would take everything that was on the floor and shove it under my bed.  Dirty clothes would end up in my drawers, or stuffed in my closet.  My room could go from disaster to spotless in under 10 minutes.  

There was one major problem though—my Mom was a lot smarter than me and she knew exactly what I was up to. She always found my mess.  She would help me drag everything out from under my bed and in my closet and she would declare it “Clean Joy’s Room Day”.  Once all the items were exposed in the middle of my floor, boy was it really a mess!  Mom would help me throw away the junk and organize the things I needed to keep.  Three hours later….voilà…things were back in their right place.  I remember once my room was nice and neat, Mom would leave my room for a few minutes and walk back in like she was seeing it for the first time.  She would act so surprised to see such a beautiful room.  She would go on and on about how wonderful it looked and I remember feeling so happy. 

Sometimes in our walk with the Lord, we act as if He does not know about all of the mess in our lives.  We are sinners.  We do things that are wrong and against His will.  We have thoughts that are displeasing to Him.  We often go days, weeks or even longer without confessing our sins to Him.   On the outside, we look pretty good, but on the inside, we are a dirty mess.  My friend, you and I can be assured that even though we do a pretty good job at hiding our sins from others…..God sees it all.

“My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from me, nor is their sin concealed from my eyes”.

 ~Jeremiah 16:7

Do you have sin in your life that you are trying to hide? Is there a bad habit you know you need to confess to God and seek His help with? Remember my friend, just like My Mom knew I was shoving all of my mess under my bed, God knows each and every sin you and I commit. We cannot hide it from Him.

God urges us to get right with Him. Over and over again in His Word, he tells us to confess our sins and turn back to Him.  He desires for us to live righteous lives. The best thing you and I can do is to confess each and every sin, ask Him to help us turn away from it and ask Him to help us get things in order.

If you have sin you need to deal with, ask God to help you get rid of the mess so you can get busy living out His will.  He’s got a plan for you!  Don’t miss it!

Grateful for you!

~Joy

My Mom and I have a phrase we frequently say to one another when life seems unbearable.  We started this phrase back in 2011 when my family moved from NC to TN.  Selling your dream home on your family’s farm and moving 600 miles away is no easy feat, especially when you had a wonderful life to begin with.  Bryan and I had great jobs, a sweet church family, and all of our relatives lived within 10 miles of our house.  Our kids had all of their grandparents and cousins just minutes away and we have always been a tight-knit family.  We had no reason to ever leave NC, expect that God was calling us to Jackson, TN.  People did not understand it and some could not believe we would leave it all.  Leaving everyone you know and love to come to a place where you do not know anyone on an intimate level is painful, but when God is the one leading you….you go!  So, we did.  It was hard.  It was very hard.  There were days I wondered how in the world I would ever survive.

The movers came on May 31, and because Bryan and the kids needed to stay behind to finish the school year, my Mom drove out to Jackson with me and our dog, Sandy.  We left our home (out in the country) with 250 acres of land attached to it and moved into a rental house located in a suburban neighborhood.  After the long drive, we finally pulled into the driveway of our rental house.  My Mom is a very positive person and was full of complements on how nice the neighborhood was and how nice the rental house was.  (As a side note, I’m really not sure how I would have ever made it through this process if it were not for my Mom.  She seemed to encourage me right when I needed it the most.)  As we sat in the driveway that day, I felt a whole array of emotions come over me.  I was sad, a little anxious, already a little lonely from leaving all of my friends and family, yet there was some excitement too.  My Mom looked at me and said, “Joy, you’re a survivor”.   And so, that phrase became our encouragement to one another as we unpacked tons of boxes and began setting up shop for a new life for the Greene family.  We worked all day and late into the night for three days getting the house just right.  We wanted it to be “home” when Bryan and the kids arrived.  My Mom and I were absolutely worn out and when we knew we were about to reach our breaking point, we would say to one another, “WE ARE SURVIVORS!”

What about you?  Are you a survivor?  Do you have inner strength that keeps you going even when you feel down for the count?    Maybe right now you feel like you are drowning in a sea of problems.  Maybe you wonder how in the world you are ever going to get through this trial in your life.  I want you to know, that if Christ lives in you, then you are a survivor!  Take a look at this powerful verse in Romans 8:37:

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

You see, this verse shows us that no matter what comes at us, through Christ, we are victorious!  God has prepared a crown and a kingdom for us and He will give us what we need to fulfill our purpose on this earth.  The Greek word used for “we are more than conquerors” is actually one single word, “hypernicōmen” and it means to prevail completely over.  I want you to let that soak in just a bit.  To prevail completely over—because of Jesus!

No matter what you are facing right now, with Christ, you have victory!  It does not mean that things on this side of eternity will go the way you want them to go.  It does not mean you will not experience failure along your life’s journey.  While you and I are here, we will have heartaches to endure, but while we are walking in those heartaches, our faith will not be shaken.  Our love will not be diminished.  Our hope will not be destroyed.  Instead, the joy of the Lord will BE our strength and through Him we will triumph!  We have victory!

So when life seems unbearable and your strength begins to fail you, stand firm on God’s Word.  Stand firm on who He is.  Fill your mind up with Truth and know that you, my friend, are a survivor!

Grateful for you!

~Joy

Hold your children a little tighter.  I heard this statement over and over again with the recent tragedy in Connecticut, and boy did I hold them a little tighter!  As soon as I learned about the shooting, I wanted to race over to my kid’s school, take them home, lock all of the doors and stay inside to ensure they were safe.  If you’re a parent, maybe you felt this same way.  Of course, I didn’t do those things.  Instead, I picked them up from school at the normal time and we stayed home that evening.  We watched a movie and snuggled on the couch, all the while, I was thanking God for them and praying for those families in Connecticut who had lost their children.  I thought about the evil in our world.  Evil actions can strike at anytime, anywhere.  In earthly terms, none of us are safe.  It could happen at the mall, where we work, at our homes, churches, anywhere.  Instead of living our lives in fear, God tells us to be strong and courageous.  He tells us to overcome evil with good.  Our God is sovereign and He never loses control, even in the worst of human circumstances.  With human minds, we can’t make sense of tragedies like the one in Connecticut.   It’s hard to understand how any good could come from such a devastating event, but, as followers of Christ, we believe God is who He says He is.  He is holy, and good.  We trust Him at His word that He is working all things together for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose.  I find comfort from Proverbs 3:5 which says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”.  Today, let’s say an extra prayer for the families who lost their loved ones in Connecticut.  Let’s pray for God’s peace.  Let’s pray that those families will draw closer to God through this time.  Let’s pray that His name be glorified.  None of us are promised tomorrow…so live the best life you can today and hold your children a little tighter.   Thanks for reading!  ~Joy

I’ve heard it said that the most important words one person can say to another are the words, “I’m sorry”.  Would you agree?  I think those two words can be the hardest two words to say, but when they are said with honest meaning, they are powerful.  The words, “I’m sorry” can mend a broken relationship, but actually saying those two words require us to swallow our pride and be humble.  It requires admitting we were wrong about something and it makes us venerable to the other person.  For most of us, it’s not a pleasant feeling, but I think as Christians, it’s a requirement in order for us to live in healthy relationship with other believers.  Jesus talks a lot about relationships.  He makes it clear that believers should get along!  It’s in Matthew Chapter 5 when Jesus says, “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”  The Greek word for “reconciled” means to change one’s feelings towards another, to restore.  I wonder if you have a relationship in your life that needs to be restored?  Is there someone who you are at odds with?  We should strive to live at peace with everyone, but it is most important that believer in Christ live at peace with one another.  We can’t change someone else’s behavior and we certainly don’t have the power to change their heart, but we should do all that is within our power to make things right with our brothers and sisters in Christ.  I like how John MacArthur says True worship is not enhanced by better music, better prayers, better architecture, or even better preaching. True worship is enhanced by better relationships between those who come to worship.  Is there some relationship that needs mending in your life?  Is there someone you need to say “I’m sorry” to?  Don’t waste another minute, do it today.   Thanks for reading!  ~Joy